Commitment and Getting On With Things.

I have a huge problem. It haunts me whatever I do and where ever I go. I procrastinate. I give up. I'm lazy. I have no commitment to anything and no determination to finish anything.

I frequently forget about my blog (as you can probably tell). I frequently start projects that don't get finished. I frequently forget to do my coursework. I frequently forget to have a life.

It sounds ridiculous, but it's true. Life passes me by and time rushes through but I'm left doing the same thing because I struggle to get out of the cycle, and when I do get out of the cycle I get disheartened and give up again. It's utterly ridiculous. It doesn't help that I'm in pain most of the time. I don't want to do anything because it hurts. But that's just another excuse. I could ignore it enough to get things done. Until recently I also had brain fog to contend with, which is less of an excuse really and more fact, and when it wasn't there the last thing I wanted to be doing was coursework or half-finished projects, I wanted to start something new and exciting! For the cycle to start again.

I'm finally starting to get my life back on track. Nick and I have had a rough few months to be honest. My health was deteriorating, the brain fog became almost permanent and the weather is a huge factor in my health and that was also bad so it impacted my already fragile health more. I became a zombie to be honest! Then we both heard news (on the same day sadly) that people we cared for would likely be dead within a week, both were in extremely ill health and we'd been waiting to hear it for a while but it still wasn't nice to hear and we sent the next four weekends travelling back and forth between Clacton/Brightlingsea and Brighton. We also had financial worries and accommodation worries, health concerns and university/course related problems which got worse as we both neglected them to deal with everything else.

But we're finally recovering. We have had a crap first quarter of 2013 and have used the beginning of April to just stop, rest for a few days and start addressing everything logically and in order. It feels good to be sorting things out finally.

I had a few days off so I caught up with my coursework a little, Nick is fully up-to-date with his. Nick has a job again, our landlords offered to lower the rent and I know a bit more about what is happening from September when my charge starts nursery. I will hopefully be looking for a new 12-16 hour a week job from January which is when it's likely I won't be needed on a permanent basis any more with little R (<<sobs>>). I am hoping that I will still have my other job though, I don't think I could cope with a double whammy of losing R and then the M family at the same time!

I am trying to decide whether to invest in other courses just yet or to focus on my Wood-badge for scouts before starting another course but I'll be putting money aside just in case I do find a course.

I'm back to knitting again, I have a Pterodactyl mostly finished, I offered to do it for an MN friend back in January and he's still on the go as I'm not sure on the colour combo. Her son likes pink, red, blue and purple. I tried to combine the colours but it's not working well. Red got kicked out in favour of blue as he likes pink more but I think I may have to ditch either pink in favour of red or blue for red. I still haven't worked it out.

I also have two Plesiosaurs on the go for my landlord, who wants them for some relatives she's visiting later this month. I have a third Plesiosaur on the go too, for me and Nick, this third one is being made from left over Sidar Big Softie on 10mm needles, so is big. I am debating doubling up and doing it on 15mm needles to get it bigger but it seems to be using quite a bit of yarn already!

I finally got signed up to the doctor last week, so I booked an appointment for a week or two's time to start the fibromyalgia diagnosis, because that is what I'm aiming for. I also saw an alternative therapist who does homoeopathy and specialises in NAET, an allergy/reaction treatment. I was really weirded out by the session actually but I'm going to see how it goes.

I also gave up gluten just over a month ago. This was after knowing for years that I had gut reactions to it and I was fed up with it, so I just went cold turkey and did it. I am amazed by the difference! Not only has my gut settled somewhat but almost immediately I noticed a difference with my bladder problems  they are still there but nowhere near as bad as they were before. Nick noticed it actually, because he realised that we'd driven from Brighton to Chelmsford before we stopped and went to the loo, and we only stopped because he needed to go. Not me. We usually stop at Pease Pottage or Clacket Lane services. I wondered if it was a fluke but, as I said above, we went home numerous times over four weeks and it was a similar story each time we travelled, we'd stop once each way on the latter half of the journey, whereas only weeks before we stopped repeatedly. I have also noticed a huge and again, almost immediate change in my brain fogginess. I sent most of December to March in a brain fog. I could concentrate at work but as soon as I was home, I was out of it. I couldn't tell you what I did even on a weekly basis and I had to write down conversations with bosses as I got into my car to leave work to remember them. Since giving up gluten I'm able to think again. I'm feeling more like me again, and it's a great feeling! I couldn't have gluten as a regular thing in my diet again, even when I've cocked up I've noticed the change.

So I'll end this epic post by saying that I'm going to try harder. I'm going to take control of my life again, do what I want to do and not make excuses again. My health does limit me, but I'm not going to use it as am excuse any more.

How the snow and overtime disrupts everything

So I haven't had a chance to get back to volunteering so far this year. I'm gutted about it really, I've been looking forward to going back! I've been doing a lot of overtime as my boss has had a few busy weeks, and when I would finally have been able to go in last week, Nick and I ended up stuck in the car for 3 hours due to an accident 4ish miles ahead which blocked the road completely and the snow which fell as they were clearing that up. Snow has not been my friend over the past few weeks!

Thanks to the snow I have had a bit more time at home and have been knitting away though! I've been playing with patterns in a book given to me for Christmas by my bosses, The Knitting Book, which is absolutely fantastic! I don't know how I lived without this book in my life before now! However, now I have it, I've made my first lace square and started on my first bit of cabling. I will post photos when I get around to taking them! My knitting assessor is very impressed with my lace work too.

I have been climbing a bit over January as well. I went to K2 for the first time a few weeks ago and I'm looking forward to going back, though my weekly sessions are still at Stanley Deason. I'm hoping to go to the one in Shoreham at least once a month too, my climbing partner goes on a Friday evening but due to my working hours being flexible on a Friday (and on the one day I left before 6pm it snowed) I haven't been able to go yet!

I've also made the decision to not partake in the DofE Gold expeditions. I thought about it a hell of a lot and really didn't want to make this decision to be honest. My health comes first, and my knees especially have been getting considerably worse over the past month which I didn't expect after having such a good period of time with my joints. But I knew I'd be risking it if I chose to do it, and I think I've probably made the right decision, even if I am disliking the decision right now! I have finally accepted that I do have limitations.
I will be continuing my 'training' though and my long walks, as I love them and I've already met a good group of people from it.

Cross posted to my D of E blog: nsayadi DofE

Knitted dinosaurs for my Charges

I eventually completed the dinosaurs at 4pm on Christmas Eve. I didn't get much sleep over the five days before Christmas as I was knitting constantly, and was only able to pick up the needles again last week! But I was so happy when I'd finished them, and the children love them (C goes to sleep with hers every night!) so without further ado, here are some photos:

Mesosaurus for C:

Pterodactyl for J:

Ankylosaurus for H:

Cross-posted to http://nsayadi-d-of-e.blogspot.co.uk/

Expedition training and knitting

Bobbles!

I had a nice long walk today, not as long as I'd planned but still managed 7.62 miles of tracked walking in total today, probably hitting the 9 mile mark if I included the walking around town first thing because I got off  of the bus early! But 7.62 is good for me.

I walked with C, one of my climbing partners, from Brighton Pier to Ovingdean roundabout along the coast footpath (and the coast road up top once we hit the Marina for the views), then headed down the steps to the coastal footpath and walked back to the Pier along it.

C then went home so I had a crepe (with lemon and sugar, the classic pancake combo but these crepes were not so much crepes as they were pancakes being honest!), meandered around the pier for fifteen minutes to rest and then set off back to the Marina, where I picked up some wrapping paper and a couple of books before Nick came to pick me up.

I quite pleased that I managed the walk actually and am looking forward to the next one! nick and I are going for a short walk in the morning hopefully too, which will be nice. Maybe we'll get from Saltdean to the Marina and back again. Who knows?

Close up of the bobbles birdseye

This blooming Ankylosaurus is nearly finished (ravelry project page link), the most difficult part is over, and I am never doing a pattern with more than 3 bobbles ever again. Until I decide to make an Ankylosaurus for myself of course. 36 bobbles on this dinosaur (two hidden from sight at the bottom as they are on the edge). On 2.5mm needles with DK yarn. I have a lovely little blister on my left forefinger from trying to push the needle through so much! But I love the outcome and am really looking forward to stitching the entire thing together.

My next dinosaur will be a Pterodactyl (ravelry pattern page link) for either C or J. I'm not sure yet, I will see how I feel when it is done, but I think that they both would like it and I'm still not sure which dinosaur to do last, so I will work it out as I go along. One and a half weeks until I have to hand over the dinosaurs. I hope that I manage to complete them by then!

Ankylosaurus' back piece

Cross-posted from my DofE blog http://nsayadi-d-of-e.blogspot.co.uk/

Knitted Handcuffs

After browsing my new favourite site lovehoney, I went onto Ravelry to see if they had any patterns for handcuffs for a bit of a laugh. They didn't have any I particularly liked for free so I thought I'd improvise.

Here are my very basic knitted handcuffs. This is the first time I've knitted button holes or improvised really! This is also the first time I've written a pattern, so please bear with me, I've written it as I made them and don't know how to write in buttonholes or weird bits! Just let me know if it's unreadable.
DISCLAIMER: This is a novelty item. If you choose to use them in any other manner, it is at your own risk.

Yarn: Denim Ultra (Super Chunky, 10mm needles recommended for this yarn)

Needles: 5mm
K = Knit
P = Purl
BO = Bind off (Cast off)
CO = Cast on

Cast on 10 stitches.

Row 1) Knit 1 row

Row 2) Purl 1 row

Row 3) K2, BO2 for buttonhole, K2, BO2 for buttonhole, K2

Row 4) P2, CO2 for buttonhole, P2, CO2 for buttonhole, P2

Rows 5-28) Starting with a knit row, stocking stitch all rows.

Row 29) BO2, K2, BO2, K4

Row 30) BO2, K2 (cut the yarn and slip these two onto a small stitch holder) You should be left with two stitches on the needle. I then transferred these to 5mm double pointed to I-cord the next 20 rows, you can knit these twenty rows too, up to you!

Rows 31-50) Knit or I-cord the two stitches. Transfer to stitch holder when complete.

Repeat rows 31-50 with the two stitches on the holder.

Slip the two cords through the buttonholes on the cuffs from back to front, so the right side is outwards facing.

Cast on 2 stitches. Knit across the two stitches on the left hand cord of the existing cuff. Cast on 2 stitches then knit across the two stitches on the right hand cord of the existing cuff. Cast on 2 more stitches.

Rows 51-74) Starting with a knit row, stocking stitch all rows.

Row 75) K2, BO2 for buttonhole, K2, BO2 for buttonhole, K2

Position the cords so that they hover over the gaps for the holes. CO the hole stitches over the corresponding cord.

Row 76) P2, CO2 for buttonhole, P2, CO2 for buttonhole, P2

Row 77) Knit 1 row

Row 78) Purl 1 row

Bind off all stitches. Sew in the ends.

These have been made to the size of my wrists. I have very thin wrists. If you want more width to the cuffs (or less) add extra rows after rows 28 and 74 (or take away some rows).

You can also lengthen the cords by adding more rows after row 50.

You may want to block these once made to prevent curling. Or you could add texture, garter rows or borders which may also help :)


NOTE: Please feel free to create variations of this pattern and post them on your blog and Ravelry, the only thing I ask is that you send me a link (either commenting here or Ravelry) if you do so for curiosities sake and please link back to this post.

Plodding along

Life has been plodding along the past couple of months. Work is back to normal, all four of my charges are as interesting and fun as ever. And that is very true even though written down I see it written in a sarcastic manner! Without trying to be twee I do love both of my jobs, I have no clue what I'll do when Little R goes to nursery next year as my jobs are a perfect balance of one another for me.

My knitting projects are not getting much further along at the moment, I've spent a lot more time reading than knitting at the moment, but I have the materials I need to start my main Christmas presents and plan to start those soon. My Binary Heart (Ravelry link) project is at a standstill right now, I need to loosen some of the stitches as they're just too tight and the digits aren't showing through which is a pain. You can see what I mean below, it'll mean lots of picking and patience to sort it!

My lovely [second-hand-]new Astra eco needs looking at already, it had a cracked pipe which was sorted out by a local garage but Nick and I think they got pissed off and did some other damage to the car (Nick's Dad managed to haggle what they claimed was a £250+ job down to £50) so we need to get somebody to have a serious look at it. It's also gained loads of scratches, some due to my parking attempts when I first got it (you should see the drive I have to get in for work!) but a lot have just appeared whilst it's been parked nicely in bays in Brighton, I even got a bump on my door when it was in a disabled bay, how that happened I don't know!

We've had a productive few weeks recently:
We picked up my Merlin Pass last week and learnt our lesson about going to Chessington World of Adventures on a Saturday last week, so we're going to Chessington again on Tuesday. I started volunteering last Tuesday at a local volunteer/church run greengrocers and I also joined the local explorer unit with the intention of becoming a leader so I'm quite excited at the moment! Nick and I have also been swimming on a Monday night at the outdoor pool in Lewes, it's a nice pool, I'm showing how rubbish I am at swimming too! We're also going to hopefully sign up to a yoga course too. We've also started organising what we want to do with our food blog, which will hopefully come into existence soon!

I have a delivery coming soon of new filofax inserts, I tried to convert to a folder but it just wasn't happening.

First Foray Into Fair Isle Knitting

The yarn for the Mumsnet Blankets arrived yesterday. I've never knitted with yarn that's semi-expensive (read not acrylic) before and decided that to practice I would knit my first square as a simple Stocking Stitch. It is so beautiful to handle! No wonder this is the yarn they choose for the lovely projects. It's Rowan Cashsoft DK in pale (but darker than the paler) blue. I really love it already and cannot wait to do more of the squares in between studying! (I'm currently doing three or four rows for every half hour of study to break it up a bit!)

The back of the Binary Heart.

I did wonder if I should experiment with some colour work on the squares, but as I've never done it before I figured I'd test it out on a bigger project I'm doing which really needs it, the Binary Heart (ravelry link). I'm currently doing a tester square for it to see if the idea will work, but it's perfect to practice my Fair Isle on. Not that I really know what I'm doing of course. I know that in fair isle the yarn of the colour that is not being used travels along the back of the work in straight lines. Mine is already twisting but there are three colours so I'm assuming that's a given on the first attempt! It's looking okay so far I think! I'm not enjoying the tangles I'm experiencing whilst practicing the fair isle technique, I can tell that it'll annoy me when I get around to doing the bigger project! Especially as I'll be working flat and this is supposedly a good technique for in the round! But I'm sure I'll work out how to do it effectively eventually.

You Light Up My Life

Nick and I have been together (as a couple) for a year now. We're both careful with money and not really into gifts as such, but I'd been dying for an excuse to knit him this for a while so decided to go ahead and do it! I'm quite impressed with how it turned out and thought I'd share :)

You can grab the pattern here at Ravelry.

The Snail and the Whale

Every child I have worked with or known personally has adored Snail and the Whale. Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler are well known in the children's literature world and are famous for The Gruffalo, which is also another firm favourite among the children I know.

The Snail and the Whale is a lovely little tale about how a tiny snail yearns to see the world so hitches a lift on the tail of a whale and ends up saving the day. The unlikely pair travel together seeing the beautiful landscapes and interesting events along the way which are fantastically illustrated by Scheffler. The defining moment, for me, is when the snail announces that she feels so small. It's lovely.

In my job with little R, aged 15months, I find myself reading it repetitively for hours on end and still haven't grown bored. She gets really into it, whether she's having a day of pictures and just pointing at all of the animals in the various scenes based around the world, or whether she's following the story with little cries of "Noo!" as the poor whale ends up lying beached on the bay and shaking her finger at me as the teacher does her pupils as they go in from their play (the parents and I only have ourselves to blame for that!). There are a couple of opportunities to put on some quirky voices but being honest, it's the way you read te entire thing that makes it fun!

I would definitely recommend it, as well as any and all by Donaldson and Scheffler.

NKOTBSB

I am actually distraught that my sister has tickets to see them and I haven't...

But don't tell anyone, especially not Tina!